Wow. I feel like a million years has passed since my last post. The last month has been a battle, but the past two weeks I have literally felt like I was fighting for my life. As always, I know there will be enemy attack prior to an event--but this time the events were totally unprecedented! First, I became inexplicably infected with a potentially deadly bacterial infection called cellulitis (stemming from a staph infection). I let it go by for three days thinking it was nothing, in spite of excruciating pain. The doctor informed me that if it was untreated it would kill me without question and was on the verge of permanently damaging my knee joint as it was. I was given a very high dose of Bactrim and put on bedrest (I hope you are all laughing, since everyone knows that bedrest with four children is NOT POSSIBLE). The doctor marked the area with a sharpie and told me it if passed his written margin to immediately come back in. Well, unfortunately the infection spread wide past the margin before I could even get the medication filled at the pharmacy. I thought it would be a waste to go back in without at least giving the medicine a chance, so I waited until the next day, when I realized that even after 24 hours it STILL wasn't moving but was still growing. The doctor was very upset and threated to hospitalize me, fearful that outpatient treatment was not going to work. He let me talk him to trying to give me an injection of another high dose antibiotic and waiting three days, all the while watching the margins. Well, the margins did not move for the next two days (neither growing nor shrinking) in spite of the very high doses of Bactrim I continued to take, as well as the shot in my system. On top of that, for the next two days I suffered from severe shaking, chills, body aches, severe migraines untouched by my usual migraine medication, and severe nausea such that I was unable to eat. Though I went back to the doctor three days later, the area of infection had finally moved to within the margin again and seemed to be responding to treatment, so they gave me one more shot to be safe, and said there was no need to return unless the symptoms worsened. I spent the next few days in bed, wracked with migraine pain, severe nausea, and body aches. I was so miserable I began to really fear I was dying. I spent every waking moment in prayer, rebuking the sickness and the enemy attack with every scripture I could think of. The spiritual warfare was not in my head, it was real--so real at times I could sense evil spirits around me and could sense them leave as I rebuked them. During this time, God gave me a dream--the dream was a vision of me in a one-on-one battle with Satan. It was like nothing I have ever imagined--I have certainly had no such dream before. After a battle,during which I did all I knew to do, essentially shout rebukes of scripture at him, and command him to bow before the Name above all names, he finally succumbed. When I awoke I truly felt like the vision was symbolic in some ways of the battle I was currently going through and I felt it was God's promise to me that I would survive, that I would WIN. Shortly after that I started to think that it could be the medication itself rather than the infection that was making me so sick, so I called in to ask the doctor about it. They were gone for the day but the nurse instructed me not to take any more until they called me the next morning. Well, I had already taken a partial does earlier in the day but I did not take anymore. Apparently, a partial dose was enough, because by morning I was feverish and my whole body was beet red and covered in a rash. I immediately went in to the doctor who informed me I had been having a severe allergic reaction the whole time and my body was truly fighting to stay alive! I was in a SPIRITUAL and a PHYSICAL battle simultaneously. The doctors were horrified at the shape I was in and made sure I understood that I could have died. In fact, they couldn't believe that my airways had not closed on me during my reaction. They told me to NEVER EVER take any Bactrim or even any other drug in the same family for the rest of my life, it could be fatal. They also gave me a very high dosage of steriods to help my body recover from the severe side effects. As my skin begins to fade back to normal (and hopefully stop ITCHING), please excuse my splotchy-ness!
Needless to say, I was more grateful today than ever before to be driving the New Covenant van to pick up all those beautiful faces. I was soooo close to never making it! When I had finally gathered everyone there (it took me a full two hours to pick up everyone, because I only had use of one van and they are scattered all over), I began with showing them my surprise--today's end of the year party was a SUPRISE GRADUATION party for our two high school graduates!! We had so many things to celebrate today! First of all, I had to be grateful for God's goodness, His healing grace and mercy, that He allowed us all to be there. Secondly, we were all grateful for each other and our experiences over the last year. Thirdly, I had to celebrate how hard all of these kids had worked in school for the last nine months, and finally, we had to celebrate the efforts of our two high school graduates and our three middle school graduates! That was definitely a reason for a party! I surprised all of the kids with tables filled with food, all decorated with a graduation theme. I blessed the food and let everyone dig in. While they began to enjoy the pizza and cupcakes, I shared with them the testimony I gave above. I stressed to them how much I love them and how they are the reason I fought this fight to be there today. I also read to them a story from a teen workbook about living on the streets yet yearning to live for God and how to make that change. Then I took time to honor all the graduates by thanking them individually for all they mean to me and the tremendous impact they have had on my life. One of them, Terrell, is partially responsible for the founding of Arms Wide Open. He is one of my largest inspirations in this ministry and one of the faces that spurred me on and encouraged me to do this--he knew how needed it was and how many other kids out there could be helped. I did it to help him! I met Terrell in middle school and have watched his journey into adulthood firsthand. I have been there for him through everything and have done all I can to encourage him to make good choices and to reach for his dreams. I continue to encourage him in his pursuit of college and have faith that Terrell is someone who will always be a part of my life. These kids don't come and go, once they are here, they are forever in my heart. As long as I have a choice, they are always in contact with me and they always know I am here for them no matter what. Terrell knows that, I have no doubt. Both of my high school graduates have been a part of Arms Wide Open since it began--I was already ministering to them before I ever formally formed the ministry, in fact. They have been along for the ride and have contributed suggestions, ideas, input, and have each served on my student advisory board at different times. They have also helped in many ways as volunteers--both have volunteered at events, helping with various aspects of set up, clean up, entertainment, and also volunteering out in the community with our volunteer team. They are two wonderful kids I am very blessed to know and throwing them a party today was an honor. I cannot wait to see where they go next--I am sure to keep you posted!
After the honored guests returned to their seats, everyone enjoyed a christian movie entitled "The Grace Card." This movie is a powerful tool for Christian ministry--if you have not seen it--watch it! The core message is about forgiveness. It demonstrates the true power of forgiveness in a way many of us do not get to see firsthand. After the movie we discussed the theme, the messages, and talked about how to apply that message in our own lives. By the time we wrapped it all up, it was 8:00PM! Whew! After being so sick for the last two weeks you would think I would be exhausted, but my spirit is high as a kite! Many, many thanks to my wonderful and gracious New Covenant family for allowing us the use of the van and the FLC today. It was truly a wonderful day for us, in so many ways. I know that seeds were planted, watered, and maybe a few even sprouted today. I believe in my heart something BIG happened in someone today--otherwise why was Satan so ADAMANT that I was not to be there? God helped me overcome for a purpose, and I believe that purpose was accomplished! Enjoy this photo of some of the kids who were there today (it is hard to get ALL my kids in one shot):
Blessings and thanks to all who helped make today possible--do you see how many lives were impacted? To God alone be the glory!! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment